Dolla’ Bin Ballin’-ZZ Top: Fandango

Nate Cope, Entertainment

As my unguided hand felt through the dollar bin, a sudden sensation tickled my fingertips.  The continuous sharp geometry of CD cases was suddenly broken by loose cellophane and broken plastic.  Straight away, my better instincts kicked in and I knew I must rescue this poor little disk lest it be lost to eternity.  Opening my eyes, the cowboy hat wearin’, guitar jammin’, cover art of ZZ Top exploded in my face like a beer shook up by Jiles.

With Texas emblazoned in rhinestones on their clothing, clearly ZZ Top hails from said great state.  Also, every one of their songs talks about Texas, drinking beer, or going to Mexico-so it’s Texas.  Thanks to Duck Dynasty, ZZ Top has experienced a resurgence of sorts-at least that’s what Tony from Walmart electronics conveyed.  He thought I was visually impaired and lost. To be fair, I was standing there with my eyes closed feeling around in a dollar bin.

At the time this album was recorded, ZZ Top must have been living on booze and Ramen noodles because they clearly had no recording budget.  Six of the 12 tracks were live and sounded like they were recorded by a 16 year old stoner with a tape deck, banging his head in the audience, and possibly ​on ​the tape deck.  Two covers of “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis also graced this fine example of – well, I don’t know what this is.  So either they have an unhealthy man love for the king or were doing their damndest to fill up the album with whatever they had.

What was most strange was not their Elvis infatuation but their odd way of describing things. While I am not familiar with the language of Texas, one song called Tush, near as I can guess he’s referring to the female buttocks or male given the Elvis thing, struck me as strange.  The chorus specifically states he wants the Lord to take him downtown because he’s looking for some tush.  Praying to God to have someone take you downtown to grab booties sounds like the prayer of a sex offender, but at the same time why say “tush?” What, you couldn’t say ass in your song? You guys are supposed to be rock stars not first grade teachers. “We’re not like those other potty mouthed rockers, we have standards!”  Well, my only hope is the word “tush” is a bad word in Texas because if not, you blew it, ZZ Top.  

 ​Final Verdict on ZZ Top Fandango: Just Silly!!!

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